The Florida Fux®

Phew! Just back from my Tinder date …

Dang … things certainly have changed since … well, since the days of when the only tinder we had, were suspiciously worn copies of National Geographic magazine. 

It went pretty well though. In baseball parlance I suppose it was like Tug McGraw threw me a slider upon which my bat connected with such certainty that I literally flew straight over the pitcher’s mound and slid into 2nd base in a way that would make Pete Rose blush. 

… so then, I’m sitting there with my hand securely on the base, brushing my face off … and the 3rd base coach is waving their arms for me to continue this surreal jettisoning around and through the infield. … I’m staring down the holiest of Catcher’s boxes, thinking this must be a dream. Wtf? The catcher is actually fully unmasked at this point; obviously and actively promoting the notion of me sliding into home, with a visit to the dugout if so inclined …

Anyhow, quite an experience within our new brave new world. I’m told that, next time we might even attempt a triple play… All I know is that I’ve got to remember what I said to bring on such an experience. Around-the-horn will never be the same again .. but I think I might enjoy trying to recreate the event. Fortunately, for some reason, the stadium was lit up, ablaze in cameras. 

Here’s the transcript. Some of it references some … older stuff, but I think it may still be of value for you upcoming rookies:

Louisville Grays(LG) vs Florida Fux(FF)

LG – “Golly, this is quite a place you have here. You must work out a lot with all these mirrors.”

FF – “Sure do Daddy-O … Ever hear of OnlyFans? You’re gonna be working too Mister!”

LG – “Whaaat? Oh ..heh … you’re kinda funny. I quite enjoy comedy.”

FF – “Do you now! Let me turn on the cameras and we can be funny together.”

LG – “Uh…Which Marx Brother is your favorite? Everybody seems to like Groucho but I really enjoy Chico’s piano playing, and that Harpo just says so much without ever talking…”

FF – “That’s very interesting…wanna see what I’m wearing under these clothes?”

…Anyhow, a really fun date. I’m happy that we’re not apparently wearing masks anymore. I’m still unclear if my new friend actually likes the newer ’30s-era Marx Brothers films or the older stuff. In any case, talking about such things really seemed to ignite a lot of passion.

Here’s one of my favorites. It’s from 1844.